#NONO SHARE WITH THE FUCKING CLASS

[ratatatastic]

boqy stationed between forsblad in his --- well. i won't say

YOU COME INTO MY YAP BOX WITH RIDDLES??? YOU DARE??? COME BACK AND SAY IT TO MY FACE YOU FUCKING PUNK ASS BITCH FINISH THAT DAMN THOUGHT???? TF SAY IT??????

[bkgsdoll]

🍮⠀⠀ notes: popular!bakugou x nerdy!reader, fluffy, college au ‿ ୧ 🍡⠀ word count: 839

everyone's either in love with bakugou or wants to be him. he always has people bombarding him with questions about his quirk or trying to get close to him. he doesnt mind the attention. bakugou carries a large amount of pride that comes along with his popularity. he's worshipped, always walking the halls with people following him.

but then theres you. a silent girl in most of his classes. you keep to yourself in your own little world for the most part with very few close friends. your seat is in front of bakugou in all of your shared lectures, and you never bothered him, not once. truth be told, he never really thought about you until a specific night.

slamming his friend's car door shut, bakugou grumbles, "you idiots." he wasted yet another good night for studying. he threw it away by partying with people he didn't even find interesting. gosh, it's already 10:30. he wouldn't be able to stay awake. but he can't just go to sleep! nono, exams are too close. he needs glue all of the information he can into his brain. kirishima had recommended getting a study buddy-- who the hell would want to actually study with bakugou?? the girls would be distracted by his "huge muscles" and "unique hair" while any guys would be begging to see his quirk in action.

fuck this! katsuki doesn't need anyones help.

that confident thought bubble changes as he walks up the stairs to the dormitories. he remembers that quiet dork in most of his classes.. you seem pretty normal for the most part. a bit of a nerd too, so he wouldn't be worried about you having the wrong shit written down. with an ashamed grunt, he decides to find your dorm.

you munch on freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, going over notes you'd gotten from yesterday's lecture. you tiredly lean back against your chair in a tiny tank top and shorts with your hair up in a claw clip. you're slightly bopping your head to the quiet music playing in the background when you hear heavy thuds of someone walking towards your room. you perk up when said person knocks on your door softly. you happily smile, thinking maybe one of your friends are stopping by. excited you made so many cookies, you hurry to the door and swing it open.

with his hands dug into his pockets and drained frown, the katsuki bakugou stands at your door.. odd. "oh!" you squealed, your hand covering your mouth. "sorry, just-- wasn't expecting you." you nervously rub your arm, leaning against the door frame.

he lazily raises an eyebrow in curiosity. "you expectin' someone?"

you shake your head. "nope.." you mutter with an awkward smile. bakugou eyes you up and down quickly, quietly clearing his throat at the small amount of clothing adorning your body. you bite your lip embarrassedly while averting your gaze. "you wanna come in?" you chirp, stepping to the side. he lets out a soft hum of confirmation, taking big strides into your dorm before you shut the door behind him. he walks over to your desk to observe your neatly written notes. "i need someone to study with-- you aren't stupid or anythin' right?" he cocks a brow, turning his head to look at you.

you hum lightly. "mm no, i dont think so.."

the scruffy boy plops down in your heart-shaped chair, flipping through the pages you had spent such precious time working on. you fiddle with your fingers shyly, biting the inside of your cheek as you watch bakugou. "..do you want a cookie?" you politely ask, pointing towards the plate on your desk, walking towards him. his head turned to where your finger was pointing.

his eyes flicker to the plate, hesitantly taking a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie and biting into it. it was soft and chewy-- and warm. his crimson eyes brighten a little, just a little. "'s not bad. would be better with coffee." he stares at the bitten cookie, cupping his other under the treat, careful not to make a mess. your bubbly self returns, offering a sweet smile. "coffee coming up!"

that day was the first of many of you and katsuki spending time together. you were never around people too often, yet alone someone as popular and liked as bakugou. and as for him, he thought you were decently likeable. you made him feel good about himself without talking about his quirk or giant pecs. you also never asked if he had a girlfriend or if he was free next friday night. you were just you.

you had talked more than he anticipated. that night, bakugou found himself quiet while you blabbed about whatever came into your head, and he didn't mind it at all. even after that study session and hanging out numerous times, you're still that one quiet nerd in the classroom. only he gets to see the chatty side of you-- and he likes that. makes him feel special.

[pearlzier]

since we're sharing stories, this isn't multiple. this is one fat ass story.

for context, let's call the girls involved t, b, j and d. t is one of those mean girls who was in those huge ass friend groups that every school had that would like smoke and drink and stuff. b was a friend of mine, j was a part of t's friend group and her best friend and d was a stuckup little bitch that no one likes. d's mother was one of the more important lawyers in the city. keep that in mind, it's relevant.

now b and d were best friends. would literally do everything together. and that of course involved sharing secrets! but when the eighth grade came along, b joined t's friend group after some petty argument she had with d. b was also kind of a bitch so she spilled all of d's secrets, one of which was the fact that d was gossiping to everyone about j. keep in mind j was one of those girls that. started fights for whatever reason AND SHE WAS DATING D'S CRUSH THAT ALSO GOT FOUND OUT THROUGH B.

so one lunch break, we were all hanging around in our classroom when suddenly j came to the door and started looking for d even coming in (which was a strict nono in our middle school, no entering other classrooms) meanwhile d was hiding in the bathroom waiting for lunch break to end. but j found her and it was whole ass thing like. teachers had to separate them because it was a full on fight. tearing literal clumps of hair out. d left crying and we all RAN because we knew her mom would have killed us because of course she was already called.

the next day the schools guidance counselor calls our whole class to explain the situation and we were all like shit we don't know we weren't there because. no one liked d and we didn't wanna be snitches. and the guidance counselor actually liked our class so she let us off the hook BUT D'S MOM DIDN'T. we had art fourth period and we were making some clay statue thing when her mom bursts right in (teacher was sleeping or smth miss girl was high on headache pills)

we were all like. shaking in our boots because we were like thirteen we didn't know what was going on. and she starts screaming that she's gonna put us, eighth graders, in PRISON for not protecting her baby girl. our homeroom teacher was called and the mom took the principal to court. which she obviously lost.

cue three months later we were celebrating the end of eighth grade when d comes in with her mom AND HER DAD AND HER GRANDMA and they start taking like pictures of us and the teacher asked what they were doing and her mom said these pictures will be going on the newspaper! and ofc we all called home and our parents were there in a split second and called the cops for idk what the charge is called but like. taking video without consent or smth.

police arrived. at our school. dragged this mother off of school grounds, deleted all her photos and videos of us and then she threatened to press charges on the police. she only didn't get arrested because the police here are. corrupt and take bribes.

all four girls are still attending school and 3/4 are in my class. that was the most traumatic experience ive ever had.

OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK ???? OH SHES INSANE THATS. IM SO SORRY WHAT THE HELL

[coristophanes]

Well this post certainly isn't going to go in the direction I had thought my first post would go when I made this account a few days ago but I told myself that this account for just kinda posting whatever comes to mind; Like a journal of sorts.

I doubt anyone will end up reading this but if you do, I do know that this could be posted privately, but my brain tells me that if it's private there's no point in writing it at all when I could just keep it in. Also I don't know how tumblr is supposed to work but I don't really care. Wow this mobile formatting bothers me. I also don't think I used the semicolon right but I care even less about that.

I'm gonna be talking about mental health and suicide so trigger warnings or whatever.

---------------------

So uh how to start. In my experience, whenever people talk about suicide or whenever it's protrayed in media, it's always a lingering thing, you know? It's always talked about like this monster looming over a person and all it takes is one particularly bad day for it to get close enough to get you. It builds and it lingers and it just always hurts. For so many that's just how it is I'm sure.

I've had my share of suicidal thoughts, they've never gone further than that but they happen. But I feel like my experience is different than the lingering monster. At least I think it is but I'm not really sure, which is part of why I feel the need to write it out. My suicidal thoughts aren't lingering, they're reactive. They happen in response to things that upset me, even just minorly.

I struggle greatly with self worth. Its not that I feel inadequate but more that I feel purposeless? I guess? I'm capable of so much, I know that I am, but I'm unable to use that. I've tried furthering my education, developing a career, going to the gym, taking care of myself better. I can never manage. It starts out strong but lose focus. School in particular was tough because the littlest fuck ups snowball. All it took was a single missed assignment to cause a domino effect leading to me literally missing 80% of all my classes and classwork.

I don't really know where I'm going with this but I think I got off topic. The littlest mistake, embarrassment, bad memory, anything, is enough to pop into my head the idea of "it would be so easy to just do ___ and have it all be over with." And then it's gone. Either I push it out or or it just leaves and I don't think about it until the next time. The thing that spurred all this on in particular is that I've spent too much money recently. Was laying in bed, thought about my spending and then just "this sucks, I suppose I could just end it." Only reason I'm thinking about it now is because I've chosen to think about it because you know... Probably not a healthy mindset to have.

But when I got to writing the first part of this post I started thinking "is this really different from the looming monster metaphor" (not my best work). Sure it's not inherently the direct nono thoughts always looming over me, but those triggering thoughts absolutely are. I find myself always needing some kind of distraction lest the thoughts creep in. I watch so much Netflix and YouTube and tiktok, etc, just to keep the thoughts from rearing their ugly lil heads. Even as we speak, or I guess as I write, I'm rewatching suits on Netflix in a little popout window on my phone (if your curious where I am, Mike just got arrested for being a fraud). Notably, I don't typically listen to music because I'm still able to empty my head when I listen to music, leaving it open for the thoughts I don't wanna deal with.

Honestly I don't know where to go with all this at this point. I'm kinda out of thoughts to write down. Uhh might see Oppenheimer next week, that'll be fun. Maybe barbie too, idk about that one though, kinda harkens back to the spending problem.

Harkens? Did I use that right? I'm gonna assume I did. I probably didn't but who cares, whats gonna happen? The nonexistent reader gonna make imaginary funny of me for harkening wrong? I think not.

This was never the intent of this account. I thought I was gonna be funny and just kinda post random 'quirky' thoughts but uhhh I do think there's gonna be more of these in the future because it felt good to get this off my chest.

Future Topics you can look forward to [or dread]:

- My emotions [or lack thereof]

- My relationship and why I think it's struggling [spoiler alert: I might be aro but I have no idea]

- Why I randomly changed from round to square brackets [I didn't feel like fixing them once I noticed]

- quirky silly goofy Minecraft Roleplay Server trauma (trauma might be a little strong but the hyperbole makes it funny.)

- Cheese probably. Idk why or when but cheese is important to me and I'm gonna discuss it eventually.

- the fact I think I have ADHD or some other neurodivegency (but you'll never catch me telling someone because I despise self diagnosis)

- hyperfixation of the week

- the fact that I accidentally went back to round brackets

- the fact that this list is way too long now but I don't really care to delete any of them but like whatever? Nobody is reading this. Probably. Like I said idk how tumblr works.

Uhhh anyway bye.

Sike I realized my about me section isn't actually made yet so breif background info I should probably put at the top but uhh fuck you.

Cori, 22, Agender(ish), Use any pronouns but if you ask me which ones I use I'll tell you they/them otherwise you'll end up using exclusively he/him and I don't want that because that is incorrect, sorry. Canadian... If that's relevant. I like purple. Big fan of Satyrs. Love D&D. Not straight but don't ask me what I am or I might have to kill you (I don't know). Fun fact: approximately 65% of the crushes I had while in pre-post-secondary school ended up realizing they're actually various flavours of transmasc (one's actually Triple A but don't worry about it).

None of this is relevant, but my episode of suits ended so I'm just kinda rambling until I can find a good point to stop typing, otherwise return of the bad thoughts. I hope tumblr posts don't have a word limit (looking at you twitter [or should I say 'X'] {I shouldn't say X, X is stupid})

Wait this is already and incoherent disaster I can just stop now.

K byeeeeeee

[sweatforged]

"'m  fine."  he  was  very  much  not  fine,  but  he  would  be.  little  flesh  wound,  battered  ego  probably  hurt  the  worst  -  even  more  so  now  that  he  was  no  longer  in  solitude  with  his  pain.  sharing  it  with  the  class,  so  to  say,  had  not  been  the  plan.  nor  would  it  be,  ever.  "i'm  not  gonna...  tch.  it's  fine."  so,  maybe  he  had  a  little  blood  running  down  his  chin,  didn't  mean  he  was  going  to  spit  it  anywhere.'  he  wasn't  fucking  dying  even  if  he  felt  like  it.  "no..  nono,  i'm  good.  ain't  gonna  be  goin'  anywhere.  i  just...  need  a  moment."  he  wasn't  going  to  hit  up  the  damn  infirmary  after  a  spar.  a  spar  with  a  kid  half  his  age  no  less.  no,  fucking  ...fuck  that.

  he'd  die  under  that  damn  tree  if  he  couldn't  ...  even  handle  that.  "you  can  sit  if  you  wanna."  words  weren't  easy,  but  he  managed.  he  saw  the  book  in  his  hands  &  assumed  he  wanted  to  sit  &  read  out  here.  he  wouldn't  blame  him  for  it,  it  was  a  great  view.  "thanks,  though."

             winter decided that today was a beautiful day. he should enjoy days like these whenever he had the chance. the warmth of the sun on his face really did wonders to him, but it was the fresh air that really did him good. so he had grabbed his book and started to walk down the familiar path he always took to a tree that wasn't too far off from the cabins. he made his way to it, when he noticed someone had already taken a spot underneath it.

eyes shifted as they met with the man that looked like he had found D E A T H and came back from it. winter, concerned, didn't leave the other demigod, but decided to stay and see if he needed any help, if he would take it of course. ❛ are you okay, actually that's a stupid question, you definitely are not, ❜ he stated. he checked the man out and he shook his head. ❛ why do i feel like you are about to spit out some blood or something ?? ❜ he questioned. ❛ we should probably take you the infirmary, can you get up ?? ❜ winter asked, as he extended his hand for the other to take.

[prongsiess]

So me and one of my friends have been writing down stupid shit my friendgroup says since I was in grade 10 (now a university freshman). And so, I present to you, incorrect marauders quotes as stuff my friends and I have said:

Peter: Dressing up with Prongs and Padfoot!!

Remus: they’re not dressing up, they’re dressing down

*after quidditch practice*

Marlene: I’m smelling something…

James: my armpits

Remus: I DID A PEACE SIGN

Mary: OF COURSE YOU DID YOU FUCKING BISEXUAL

Regulus: you need music

Barty, dancing through the hallway to potions class: I have music in my head!!

Pandora: Just talk to James like you talk to us… wait never mind. DONT. DO. THAT.

Evan, laughing on the floor: I can just imagine Reg yelling at James going ‘shush your shusher, SHUSH YOUR SHUSHER'

Pandora, painting: I’m channelling my inner Bob Ross

Regulus, also painting: I don’t think you have an inner Bob Ross but that’s fine

Peter, eating his breakfast: you need to get laid

James, giving heart eyes to the slytherin table: I KNOW. I’ll get there… at some point in my life

Marlene: I dont want your ass germs up my vagina

Sirius: of course you want my ass germs up your vagina

James, talking to Sirius: I’ve connected the dots, my brain has done some thinking: I don’t match with Walburgas’. Marlene’s great-aunt was a Walburga and I didn’t like her either.

Peter: coincidence…

James, standing up and waving his finger in the air: I THINK NOT

Dorcas and Evan, in unison: we put the pro in procrastination!

Marlene, disgusted: urgh its full of vegetation

James, annoyed after having this conversation 5 times this week: you’re vegetarian you dumb bitch

Remus: what’s a triangle?

Barty, who is at Remus’ study club: a threesome.

Remus, discouraged: …no.

James: I thought we were gonna share a grave

Regulus: nono, personal space

I have a shit load more where that came from, but I’ll save some for another day

[nightmare-writes]

Please, Don’t go (You couldn’t even if you wanted to)

Dark! Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Warning! This fic contains dark content.

Contains: pet names, manipulation, mind control, also medicine being used for mind control. Also slight multiverse of madness spoilers. [18+ content]

Word count: 936

Summary: Wanda has changed drastically in the past few months turning your relationship toxic. You decide to break things off, but will she let you?

Hello! I finally watched multiverse of madness today and I got inspired to write this. I hope you enjoy!

Also here’s part two! part three!

You couldn’t take it anymore.

Wanda isn’t Wanda anymore. She’s bad, this isn’t your fault. You chanted internally to keep some grip on the information. If you kept it constant in your mind then wanda wouldn’t be able to take it out as easily.

Your girlfriend, Wanda, has been a lot more… active in your relationship to say the least. She was slowly dragging you away from your friends. Your best friend, Kate, seeing the most distance because Wanda had unofficially banned you from seeing her after she saw Kate look at your ass for a second too long.

You had to practically beg Wanda to let you go to your classes in person. She always said “Oh well since there’s an online option for this class you get to stay with mommy!”

You had previously tried to bring all of this up to Wanda, but she did her signature move on you.

“Aw my dumb little puppy, you wanna stay here with mommy. You can’t handle yourself out there. You need me to keep you out of trouble since that little mind of yours likes to play tricks on you.” She said softly as she held you close and stroked your hair. “Have you been taking your meds, Y/N? It sounds like you haven’t”

Wanda kept saying you were having weird mood swings and deep depressive episodes, so she got you onto a new medication. According to Wanda, it helped, but it made your brain feel like putty. It was perfect for Wanda to mold to her liking, but she’d never share that with you.

You had enough. You needed to confront Wanda and make her see that you are your own person who needs to be able to have their own life outside of their partner. You loved her, but you knew what needed to be done.

You walk towards the door of her home office and knock. You shiver when you hear her say “Come in, detka”.

You walk in and see her sitting behind her desk, typing away at something before she looks up at you.

“There’s my favorite puppy, does someone need attention?” She says with a smile.

You hold yourself back from pouncing onto the opportunity for your girlfriend's special attention. You had a goal and you would not falter this time.

“Wanda-“

“Detka, what have I told you to address me as?”

“Wanda I-“

“Uh uh, address me properly, then we can talk”

You take a deep breath

“Mommy… I need to talk to you”

“Well aren’t we talking right now, puppy?” She chuckles “If this is about your bedtime being pushed back by an hour then it’s not happening”

“Nono, I… it’s serious. You know I love you and you love me.”

“To the moon and back, detka, your point?”

“Well I know sometimes your love is passionate and while I know you have good intentions they don’t always lead to good things.”

“Uh huh… are you sure this isn’t about your bedtime?”

“No! I- fuck, Wanda, I need to leave you. This isn’t healthy anymore.”

She raises an eyebrow at you.

“Excuse me?”

“You’re not the Wanda I fell in love with. The Wanda I fell in love with wouldn’t stop me from seeing my friends or force me to stay home all the time! The Wanda I love was actually nice to me!” You exclaim, noticing how she barely moves during your outburst.

That is until she started laughing.

And then she stood up.

“Aw, puppy, it’s cute when you get all cranky. You haven’t had your nap yet, hm? Or your medicine, you always get upset when you don’t take it when you’re meant to.”

She stands in front of you and moves her hands to cradle your face. Except you move out of her reach by taking a step back.

“Detka, don’t be a brat now. You’ve been so good the past few days.”

“No, Wanda! I'm not being a brat, I’m standing up for myself.” You say, trying to exude confidence that you don’t have anymore.

She looks at you again with a blank expression. You were confused until you saw the small ball of scarlet magic in her hand being formed by the movement of her fingers.

You quickly make a break for it out of the office and towards the front door. Wanda is faster than you and grabs your arm, pushing you against the closest wall.

“Don’t worry, Detka, mommy will just have to up the dosage on your medication from now on until I can get you to behave like I want you to.”

You struggle in her grip. Thrashing as much as you can until you feel red tendrils of magic wrap around all of your limbs to keep you against the wall.

“Wanda- please” you whimper as tears start to form in your eyes.

She shushes you and puts her hand against your temple. She kisses your forehead and says “This is for the best.”

Your eyes change to balls of crimson energy as you feel the memories of today being wiped. All you remember is Wanda and how much you love her before you fall asleep against her.

“I didn’t realize this universe's version of you would be so against change. But I’ll have you the way I want soon enough. I went through a lot of trouble trying to get you and I will not let your brattiness become a hold up.” She said softly as she picked you up and carried you to the bedroom.

“I will see you tomorrow, my sweet puppy.”

I hope you liked this! It was fun to write so if people like it I’ll write a pt.2 about wanda’s obedience training.

[thiswasinevitableid]

54. I’m not sure what you think I said, but you start calling me an asshole and whip a ruler at me and somehow, we both end up in detention

Indruck, sfw, please?

Here you go! Content note: spiders appear at one point.

I based some of this AU--namely the concept of the Crucible and how magic is channeled--on the Carry On series by Rainbow Rowell. And Duck is trans in this, because any good wizarding school is inclusive.

After three years at Amnesty Academy, Duck is used to the objects being magically propelled through the air. But a ruler zipping through the air and smacking the back of his head is a new, unpleasant experience.

He tracks it to two chairs to his left, the new third year with the silver hair. He hasn’t even been here a day, what the fuck the is his problem?

“Hey, what the hell man?”

“You know very well what.”

“Uh, no I don’t, and I don’t appreciate bein hit with a fuckin ruler!”

“The maybe think before you insult someone next time!”

“I didn’t fuckin insult you! I don’t even know your name!”

“Ahem.” Ned, their Charms professor, looks down at them reproachfully, “gentlemen, while I know the review of Zone of Truth is rather dull, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t entertain yourselves with mindless conflict.”

“Sorry, Ned.” Duck mumbles, sending his pencil shooting below desk level to whack the other guy in the leg at the exact same moment he whips his pen at Duck’s hand.

“OW!”

Ned sighs, “I hate to do this, but-”

------------------------------------------------

“Detention! Lovely, my first day here and I’m in trouble. Thank you so much, Duck Newton, for landing us here.”

“You started it!” He growls as they take their seats. God, he hopes this isn’t one of Woodbridge’s days.

“Huh, only two.” Mama wipes her boots on the mat, closes the door behind her, “Afternoon, Duck. And…”

“Indrid.” Says his nemesis, “It is nice to meet you Professor C-” he cocks his head, “you really prefer I call you ‘Mama?’”

“Yep. Never could get behind that more formal stuff. Let some of the first years call me ‘Ms. Mama’ if they really need to feel like they’re showin some deference.”

Mama is deputy Headmistress of Amnesty. The only reason she’s not fully in charge is that she’s not a witch and some families object to that. So The Quell technically runs the school while Mama does most of the actual day to day work. She also teaches a course of non-magic practical skills because, “some things you can’t magic your way out of. Like taxes.”

Duck loves her class and, while he doesn’t understand why someone would opt into this weirdness, he admires the guts it takes as a fifteen year old human to walk into a wizarding school and declare that there was plenty you could learn there even though you couldn’t so much as send a spark from your fingers.

As he and Indrid watch the clock tick down, Mama pulls a bag from her satchel. The contents are cookies, which she offers to each of them.

“Barclay tryin’ out new recipes?”

“Course he is. Kid is gonna be the best damn kitchen witch in the country by the time he graduates. Guess he’s plannin to spend the summer drivin around and learnin the food magic of different regions.” She smiles, “bet you’ll never guess who’s goin’ with him.”

“Joe?”

“Bingo. Apparently he wants to study niche cultural magic.”

Duck’s pretty sure there’s another motive; sharing a van bed with Barclay. It sounds fun, roving the country, discovering new places with someone handsome by your side.

All that’s by his side is a glower hiding behind red glasses.

“Mama? I, ah, would it be possible for me to leave five minutes early? I’m supposed to get my pairing from the Crucible tonight.”

The older woman looks between the two of them, “Better tell me how you landed here first. Ned just said it was an argument.”

“He threw a ruler at me outta nowhere.”

“It was not, you know what you said.”

“The last thing I said before you hit me was ‘“nah, man’ when Billy offered me a pizza roll from his lunch.”

Indrid goes still, “Oh. I, ah, I misheard you. I thought you said 'mothman.' I apologize. I ought to have given you the benefit of the doubt.”

He seems so suddenly downtrodden that Duck shrugs, “Yeah, you should have. But it ain’t the worst thing that’s happened to me here. Not by a long shot.”

“No kiddin” Mama leans back on the desk, “Two of you can go at five til.”

His evening turns uneventful after that; dinner, hanging out with Juno and Aubrey, half doing homework and half fucking around on his phone in his room (the agreement between the school and the government is that a long as the students don’t post vidoes of themselves doing sick stunts with magic, the government will ignore any explosions and/monsters in the vicinity of the school).

He’s never had a roommate; when the Crucible spat out his name in fire on his first day, there was no other name with it. Almost everyone else rooms in pairs or trios. So his belongings are strewn about the tiny cabin that makes up his home away from home. Which is why, when the door creaks open at ten p.m, he sits up and prepares to fire off a spell.

Indrid stands in the doorway, one bag over his shoulder and another in his hand. He looks tired.

“Hello, Duck. Ah, I guess that one is my bed, then.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

The class schedules for Amnesty are generated by the heart of the school itself. Indrid isn’t entirely sure what that means, but the heart must not be terribly creative. It stuck him in divination class. He’s been seeing the future since he was five, managing it with his drawings since he was eight. Even the professor has no idea what to do with him, since the images come in like a garbled T.V signal when he uses a crystal ball and the cup shattered when he tried to read tea leaves.

At least Barclay gave him a conciliatory caramel while they swept up the shards. It made him feel a bit better, though whether that’s due to enchantment or Barclay being exceedingly good at cooking is hard to say.

And now he has to go to “Magical Weaponry.” Magical Defense he understands; there are still lots of malicious forces out there, or even just everyday evils that it’s good to be able to ward against. Plus, Vincent is a good professor, enthusiastic and understanding.

Professor Minerva is just as enthusiastic but twice as loud. This is their first day in the actual gym, as opposed to at a blackboard, and his visions suggest it’s going to go poorly for him. As it should; he’s not a fighter, he’s a disaster.

At Amnesty, magic is channeled through objects. Most people use wands or their hands but some, like Aubrey, use jewelry (a necklace from her mother) or another accessory.

Duck Newton uses a sword. Or he’s trying to. The sword seems to be winning.

“Exert your will on him, Duck Newton, he answers to you!”

“I answeeer to only the capable.”

“Shut up, Beacon.” Duck adjusts his grasp, but nothing happens until he drops the sword and sends a spell through his fingers. The target explodes. Indrid suddenly feels a bit better about his own probable performance.

Duck notices him, indicates the practice area next to him is clear. While they started off poorly, his roommate is doing his best to demonstrate southern hospitality. He invites Indrid to eat with him, helps him when his visions offer no help in navigating the grounds, and even lent him a blue and green shirt (Amnesty's colors) for his first Spirit Day. Duck is the best thing to happen to him in his first month here.

By the time class is over, they have six broken targets, a shredded mat, and a knife that is now a very confused frog between them. They manage to laugh about it, even as Duck scoops up the amphibian and tucks him into his shirt pocket.

It’s then that Indrid realizes he has a crush.

--------------------------------------------------

“You comin to the game tonight?” Juno measures her sapling.

“Assumin nothin comes up and nobody’s tryin to kill me, you know I’ll be there.” He loves cheering Juno on during her soccer games (hey, not everything has to be magic based, even at a wizarding school).

“Drat.”

The hissed frustration draws his attention to the far end of the work table. Indrid is trying to coax his Venus Flytraps to perk up, but they remain brown and limp.

“Need some help?”

“Please, as you clearly know what you’re doing.” Indrid tilts his head towards the sapling pine tree Duck is working on. If he does his growing spells right, he’ll be able to take it home as a Christmas Tree during winter break.

“You tend to picture words or, uh,pictures when you do your spells?”

“Images work best. The trouble is that the futures sometimes make it difficult for me to picture a spell clearly.”

“What if I try describing how I’d see it and you picture what I say?”

“It’s worth a try.” Indrid closes his eyes.

“Okay. Think about the roots drawin water up from the soil, about the traps absorbin nutrients from prey. That brown is goin green as they do, they’re stems are growin stronger…” he grins as the plant turns bright green, it’s mouths open, “hey, ‘Drid, look”

“Oh!” Indrid flaps his hands, “it worked! Now I can keep them healthy and big andohno, nono not again.”

The table cracks and collapses as the plant turns gigantic, blocking out the light from the greenhouse roof.

“Holy fuck, that’s great!”

“Language, sport, but I agree.” Thacker, the head of the magical Horticulture classes, whistles as he looks the plant up and down, “this is mighty impressive Indrid. Wonder if we could use it on some pumpkins come fall…”

“I don’t recommend it, unless you want them to chase people.” Indrid points to one of the heads, which is swaying in the air and lowering closer to him. It snaps and he leaps back, falling to a pile of potting soil. Thacker raises his walking stick and the flytrap returns to its proper size.

Duck helps Indrid up, but his friend stays quiet through the end of class and on the walk back to their room.

“You know it ain’t anythin to be ashamed of, right?” Duck flips on the light, “we all fuck up spells now and then. Hell, Aubrey is on track to be the best spellcaster this school’s ever seen and she still has trouble.”

“But mine go haywire constantly” Indrid flops, dejected, onto his bed, “forget mastering my powers, I’ll be lucky if I graduate able to keep them in check. If I graduate at all.” His hand searches the bed blindly; Duck sets the weighted, plush bat into so Indrid can set it on his chest.

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve never lasted more than a year at a magical school. Or a non-magical one. I started at Mt Vernon when I was fifteen. Tried Deep Hollow and Shasta the year after that. I’m powerful but I can’t seem to channel it well, and three different schools decided I was more trouble than I was worth.”

“Bullshit.” Duck rests a hand on Indrid’s knee, “you’re strugglin with somethin; that means you need more help, not less. And if anyone gets it into their heads to kick you outta Amnesty, I’ll raise a goddamn ruckus.”

Indrid chuckles, quiet and disbelieving.

“I’m serious. You know Aubrey and them would side with me, and Joe knows school policy well enough he could probably find a reason why them tryin to get rid of you was against the rule.”

“Thank you.” Indrid’s smile is a rare flower, fragile and stunning.

“You want one of those calm-down caramels Barclay made?”

“Please.”

Duck grabs the box from the cabinet of their little kitchenette, then snags a Coke and a pineapple soda from the fridge. Indrid is no longer horizontal, is instead sitting with his back to the wall so Duck has space to join him.

Under the fizz of fresh bubbles, his friend murmurs, ‘“Have people really tried to kill you?”

“Yep. Someone sent an assassin after me my first year, and there was a Dire wolf on the grounds last winter that was clearly locked on to my scent. Perk of bein a Chosen One.” He grumbles as he swigs his drink.

“...Who on earth sends an assassin after a fifteen year old?”

“Right?! Fuck if I know, they never got any information out of the guy. Fuckin prophecy I swear, I didn’t even want these powers, let alone to be some kind of hero.”

“I sympathize.” Indrid rests his head on Duck’s shoulder, “there are prophecies around my birth as well.”

Duck clunks their bottles together, “To bein’ fucked over by stuff we can’t control.”

Indrid drains his soda, then perks up, “Oh! Oh dear, you should go if you want to be there for Juno’s match.”

“Come with me?” Duck can’t get the image of the two of them sharing a giant pretzel while smushed thigh to thigh on the bleachers out of his head.

His friend grins, “Of course.”

-----------------------------------------------------

Duck hoped, after his not-great time in middle school, that a magic academy would be asshole free. But no, there are assholes everywhere, and these ones have even more tools for tormenting their targets. He’s never been one, nor have any of his friends. The one time someone tried to bully Barclay, Dani sicked three spectral hummingbirds on them until they apologized.

Indrid, odd and new, is an easy target, though he seems to hold his own just fine (and his proximity to the most powerful witch in school does scare off many potential antagonists). But three guys in their Magical Defense class have zeroed in on him.

They’re standing in line to practice against an evil eye when Indrid’s glasses, the ones he doesn’t take off even when he sleeps, hit the floor by Duck’s feet. Duck scrambles to grab them before they get stepped on, wondering why everyone is making such a fuss. Then he turns and backs up in alarm.

An eight foot tall moth creature is where Indrid should be, red eyes wide and claws clicking together anxious.

“Who let that thing in here?” Someone yells from behind him.

Indrid’s antenna flatten.

“Fuck, wasn’t expecting him to be that big a freak” one of the bullies scoffs.

Black wings twitch.

“Newton, give him the glasses back so we don’t have to look at him!”

Indrid trills, upset, and leaps into the air at the same moment Aubrey yells, “that’s enough” and Vincent shouts a reminder about no flames in enclosed spaces and also detention for you three. Duck is to busy climbing out the window Indrid flew through to pick up the details.

One two-story fall later, he’s chasing a dark shape into the Monongahela forest. While the parts of the woods near his hometown of Kepler are non-enchanted, this chunk is magic down to the moss (he plans to write his final year project on how those halves of forest mesh on an ecological level). One of the worst aspects of the enchanted portions is their tendency to re-shape around travelers. His usual way around this is to have an unwavering sense of where he’s going and pretend the woods are giving him an unchanging path to get there. But that trick does fuck-all when he doesn’t know his destination.

After two hours of searching he’s no closer to finding Indrid, it’s getting dark, and he’s debating heading back to the school for help. He hasn’t been this deep in the woods since he fled the Dire Wolf, and he knows the deeper you go into the trees, the wilder the magic becomes. Bad news for him, even worse for his friend who's out there somewhere, upset and alone.

Eight gigantic eyes glitter at him from the dirt, and he quickly rearranges who has it worse right now.

Throwing a burst of light into the trapdoor spiders eyes buys him enough time to bolt to a tree and climb. As soon as it crawls free of its burrow he freezes; if he’s remembering right, they use vibrations to locate prey.

Fuck, that thing is the size of a VW Beatle. Why is that even a thing? No spider needs to be this big!

In spite of his stillness, it spies him and sets its forelimbs on the tree-trunk. There’s nothing else for it; he draws Beacon, pictures the spider shrinking, and casts his spell.

A soft crunch of leaves signals it hitting the ground, now an unremarkable size for an arachnid. Just as he steps down a branch, a second trap door opens and an enraged spider bursts out, looking for it’s friend. When it can’t find it, it turns and snaps its mandibles at Duck. This time, Beacon does nothing, no matter how Duck commands and curses as his eight-legged doom gets closer.

A crackle of electricity and then this spider disappears as well. On the other side of the trunk, red eyes regard him with worry, “are you hurt?”

“Nah, all in one piece thanks to you.” He holds out his hand, “you wanna head back?”

“Yes, please.” Indrid flaps to the ground, Duck following him on foot and then turning them towards campus, “you did not need to come look for me.”

“Course I did, not gonna let my friend get swallowed up by the forest. Oh, here” he holds out the red glasses, “you want these back?”

“Not just yet. That is, if this form is not too alarming to you.”

Duck takes in the glossy feathers, the charming ruff, the way the face is still obviously Indrid yet excitingly new, “I’m good.”

Light flickers from black claws, stars and flowers spinning out with ease, “It’s so much easier when I’m like this. I never foresaw my disguise charm being an issue, but the older I’ve gotten the more it seems to influence my ability to control my spells. But, well, you saw how people reacted. Even you were startled.”

“In my defense, I thought you’d been eaten by, well, you.” Duck casts the same spell, vines of light chasing the red flowers, “I’m still sorry, though. You ain’t horrible like this, ‘Drid; you’re fuckin stunnin. Never seen anyone as incredible as you.”

Indrid stops, looking down at him, “Do you truly mean that?”

Duck rises on his toes, pecking his cheek, “Yeah, I do.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The Halloween Formal is the most elaborate event at Amnesty. Indrid feels that if there’s any day he’s within his rights to be in his true form, it’s when everyone else is dressed as monsters.

He doesn’t have a date. He thought Duck was in the same predicament. Then his friend left before he was half-done grooming his feathers, saying he needed to get flowers for his hot date.

Ah well. At least Indrid will get to see him there and spend some time with his friends.

He checks his reflection in the gleaming black walls, orange and purple lights glowing and jack’o lanterns floating above his head. He adjusts his robes, the nice red ones his father sent him, and prepares to enter the ballroom.

“Hold up.”

When he turns, Duck is standing there in his black dress shirt and green tie, looking for all the world like he’s alone.

“You got one more thing to put on” He holds out a bracelet of flowers, sized to slip perfectly over Indrid’s hand. There are matching flowers pinned to one side of Duck’s hair.

“Oh. Oh my. You really-”

Duck uses a small spell to bend Indrid into a kiss; it’s a bit messy, since their mouths aren’t meant to fit together, but Indrid would not trade it for all the magic in the world.

“Yeah, ‘Drid, I really do.” With that, Duck offers his elbow and they walk arm in arm into the great hall.

[medicifm]

*  not  me  actually  writing  an  intro  the  night  before  like  i  always  mean  to  😳  hennyway  hey  biddies  ,  i'm  chloe  ,  im  in  the  snowy  part  of  pst  ,  &  i  use  she / her  pns  .  i’ve  been  . . . . . . .  scouring  the  tags  for  an  rp  like  this  so  im  so  excited  to  bring  this  newish  muse  of  mine  here  !   im  here to  do  the  honours  of  introducing  my  himbo - on - the outside , manipulative - shit - on - the - inside  . . .  oscar  🤡

(  twenty  three , cis  man , he / him  ) ✉ ― hey  babes , have  you  met  OSCAR  MEDICI ?  they’re  working  here  as  THE  HEAD  CHEF  AT  LORENZO’S ,  a  few  villas  down  from  where  you’re  staying  .  you  might  hear  them  singing  ALRIGHTY  APHRODITE  BY  PEACH  PIT  playing  from  their  villa  ,  it’s  their  favourite  song  .  yes  ,  they  hear  that  they  look  like  JACK  GILINSKY  a  lot  ,  actually  -  it’s  really  uncanny  .  their  friends  back  home  in  SYDNEY , AUSTRALIA  say  that  if  they  were  on  a  tv  show  ,  their  trope  would  be  THE  WOLF  IN  SHEEP’S  CLOTHING  ,  how  funny  is  that  ? ✎ chloe , 22 , she/her , pst

𝐢  .

pinterest  |  wanted  plots  |  

𝐢𝐢  .

name  :  oscar  gabriel  medici

age  :  twenty  three

dob  /  sign  :  december  4th  ,  1997  /  sagittarius  sun  ,  leo  moon  ,  libra  rising 

pob  :  sydney , australia

gender / pronouns  :  cis  man  &  he / him / his

career :  head  chef  at  lorenzo’s  ,  full - time  heathen  ,  professional  disappointment  for  mothers  everywhere  .

drinking / drugs / smoking :  yes / more  often  than  he’d  admit / never .  

religion  :  jewish  background  ,  currently  non - practicing .

physical  :  jack  gilinsky  fc ,  dark  brown / black  longish  curls  (  reference  )  ,  dark  brown  eyes  ,  canon  jack  g’s  tattoos  ,  no  piercings  ,  6′2″  ,  175  lbs  ,  lean  but  strong  .  tattoos  a  la  canon!jack  ,  pearly  white  smile  that  he  may  . . .  or  may  not  . . .   use  crest  3D  white  strips  weekly  to  maintain  .  lots  of  burns  &  scars  from  kitchen  mishaps  on  his  hands  &  arms  .

traits  :  hard - working  ,  flighty  ,  intelligent  ,  hedonistic  ,  charismatic  ,  intense  ,  volatile  ,  

other  :  speaks  weird  french  (  aussie  accent  tings  )  ,  tans  easily  but  wears  sunscreen  nonetheless  ,  works  hard  parties  harder  ,  can’t  read  a  lick  of  french  but  spends  a  lot  of  his  free  time  with  a  coffee  &  a  new  paperback  ,  has  a  bit  of  an  internal  vendetta  against  rich  people  (  for  no  real  reason  ,  he  just  doesn’t  like  most  of  them  )  ,  has  ins  with  a  bunch  the  local  farmers  &  visits  them  weekly  ,  pretends  he  isn’t  lowkey  addicted  to  nicotine  administered  via  a  puff  bar  ,  liquor  of  preference  is  tequila  or  red  wine  ,  drives  a  lil  vespa  around  town  for  the  gag  of  it  (  loves  seeing  it  haphazardly  parked  amongst  a  bunch  of  luxury  cars  )  ,  

character  inspo  :  jess  mariano  (  gilmore  girls  )  , gordon  ramsey  🤡 ,  patrick verona ( 10 things i hate about you ) , ferris bueller ( ferris bueller’s day off ) , han solo ( star wars ) .

𝐢𝐢𝐢  .

oscar’s  arrival  was  as  unwanted  to  his  parents  as  could  be  :  a  father  whose  tendencies  leaned  towards  alcoholism  &  abusing  whoever  was  in  arms  reach  ,  a  mother  whose  life  was  more  or  less  spent  at  the  nursing  home  she  worked  as  a  nurse  at  ,  evading  home  .  he  became  a  self - inflicted  loner  ,  preferring  to  do  literally  the  exact  opposite  of  what  was  expected  or  wanted  from  him  .  he  had  a  few  friends  he  ran  with  ,  but  watching  them  all  go  off  &  study  or  prepare  for  university  solidified  in  oscar’s  mind  that  the  non - traditional  route  was  for  him  .  growing  up  by  the  water  ,  oscar  always  felt  more  drawn  to  skip  school  &  head  to  the  beach  than  he  did  obeying  his  parents  wishes  .   

one  of  his  solaces  was  his  grandfather  ,  gabriel  ,  who  owned  an  italian  restaurant  in  a  beach  town  north  of  sydney  .  whenever  the  weather  was bad  &  oscar  felt  like  ditching  class  ,  he’d  head  over  to  his  nono’s  restaurant  where  his  ass  would  be  put  to  work  as  soon  as  he  set  eyes  on  the  restaurant  .  it  was  tough  work  ,  but  challenging  in  a  way  that  fanned  the  flames  in  oscar’s  heart  ,  rather  than  dimming  them  .  by  the  time  he was  a  teenager  he  was  working  in  the  restaurant  everyday  after  school  , an  agreement  between  him  &  his  grandfather  framed  on  the  back  wall  that  stated  that  as  long  as  oscar  kept  from  flunking  out  ,  he  was  allowed  to  spend  as  little  or  as  much  time  in  the  kitchen  as  he  pleased .  

his  absolute  defiance  of  anything  traditional  &  following  the  rules  made  him  unpopular  with  adults  ,  but  lowkey  cool  with  the  girls  .  by  the  time  he  was  sixteen  ,  he  was  losing  his  focus  on  the  restaurant  &  his  grades  &  spending  more  &  more  time  chasing  after  girls  .  his  nono  tried  to  get oscar  to  come  back  &  focus  ,  but  as  always  ,  anything  he’s  asked  to  do  quickly  becomes  the  thing  he’s  running  from  the  most  .

tw  :  death  ,  cancer  .  around  his  eighteenth  birthday  ,  his  grandfather  suddenly  fell  ill  with  a  rare  form  of  cancer  that  took  his  life  six  weeks  after  diagnosis  ,  which  rocked  oscar’s  world  .  he  felt  overwhelming  guilt  that  he  hadn’t  spent  more  time  with  his  grandfather  ,  which  manifested  itself  as  oscar  dropping  out  of  school  a  year  shy  of  graduation  to  commit  himself  fully  to  perfecting  his  grandfather’s  techniques  ,  learning  all  of  his  recipes  (  read  :  pouring  over  dozens  of  handwritten  cookbooks )  in  some  failed  attempt  to  get  back  some  time  with  him  .  oscar  hadn’t  been  close  with  his  parents  in  years  ,  more  or  less  seeing  them  as  wardens  of  a  prison  he  wanted  nothing  to  do  with  .  his  grandfather’s  will  left  him  the  deed  to  the  restaurant  ,  with  an  ask  that  oscar  would  promise  to  act  on  whatever  he  felt  called  towards  ,  rather  than  doing  what  others  expected  of  him  .  to  be  candid  ,  this  whole  situation  crushed  him  .

eventually  ,  he  decided  he’d  had  enough  of  the  stifling  community  he’d  grown  up  in  .  he  sold  the  restaurant  to  one  of  the  regulars  ,  a  wealthy  man  who  he’d  come  to  acknowledge  as  somewhat  of  an  uncle  ;  a  safe  pair  of  hands  who  would  treat  his grandfather’s  legacy  with  as  much  passion  &  respect  as  oscar  himself  would  .  so  he  packed  a  bag  ,  texted  his  mom  that  he  was  going  traveling  ,  &  got  on  a  flight  that  evening  .  he  traveled  all  around  -  first  through  central  america  ,  then  through  europe  ,  throughout  asia  &  africa  ,  &  spent  a  few  months  driving  a  van  across  the  continental  united  states  &  canada  for  fun  . 

eventually  ,  he  started  getting  low - ish  on  money  ,  &  decided  to  settle  in  one  of  his  favourite  places  he’d  visited  :  southern  france  .  he  arrived  in  early  2018  ,  taking  on  whatever  menial  tasks  he  could  while  learning  french  until  he  got  a  position  as  a  line  cook  in  an  italian  restaurant  .  a  few  years  later  ,  he’s  made  his  way  up  to  filling  the  head  chef  position  ,  an  honour  he  takes  with  pride  .  he’s  implemented  many  of  his  own  recipes  while  using  flavours  he’s  learned  from  his  travels  ,  with  ingredients  straight  from  local  farmers  .  he’s  earned  the  restaurant  a  two michelin  star  rating  ,  &  is  constantly  striving  for  more  to  get  that  last  star  (  both  for  his  own  ego  as  well  as  a  secret  debt  to  his  grandfather  )  .

𝐢𝐯  .

ok  but  that  vid  where  gordon  puts  two  pieces  of  bread  on  someone’s  head  &  calls  them  an  idiot  sandwich  ?  that’s  oscar  .  intense  as  fuck  in  the  kitchen  ,  &  best  nobody  catch  an  attitude  about  it  bc  he  will  not  hesitate  to  hand  them  their  ass  on  a  silver  platter  .

another  gordon  reference  :  you  know  how  he’s  the  spawn  of  satan with  adults  ,  but  the  sweetest  ,  most  helpul  guy  with  children  ?  that’s  oscar  with  his  staff  vs  people  he  wants  something  from  .  whether  its  to  sleep  with  them  (  usually  his  first  instinct  to  be  fair  )  ,  their  money  or  clout  ,  or  to  get  into  some  wild  adventure  some  random  resort  staff  wouldn’t  dream  of  getting  into  ,  he  can  turn  on  the  charm  whenever  needed  .

can  go  from  absolutely  demoralizing  someone  in  the  kitchen  to  stepping  out  into  the  lounge  to  schmooze  with  his  friends  or  cougars  who  leave  phat  tips  in  0.2  seconds  .  the  speed  at  which  his  mood  can  completely  180  is  one  of  the  seven  world  wonders  (  last  i  checked  )  .

his  love  language  is  absolutely  acts  of  service  .  catch  him  actually  falling  in  love  once  in  a  blue  moon  &  making  it  his  mission  to  cook  her  extravagant  meals  everyday  .  

the  wolf  in  sheep’s  clothing  label  epitomizes  his  nice  ,  helpful  ,  charismatic  exterior  ,  while  ulterior  motives  &  disdain  for  those  who  grew  up  with  more  money  than  he  did  lurk  beneath  the  surface  . 

he  can  be  MEAN  when  someone  fucks  him  over  or  pushes  him  farther  than  he  wants  -  isn’t  afraid  to  go  for  the  low  blows  or  send  someone  home  with  an  identity  crisis  if  it  protects  himself  .

lowkey  alcoholic  but  he’s  not  ready  for  that  conversation  yet  .  he  sees  it  more  as  perks  of  the  location  &  atmosphere  he’s  found  himself  in  .

also  lowkey  falls  in  love  HARD  ,  like  this  man  is  a  closeted  romantic  but  self - sabotages  all  potential  relationships  before  they  can  get  to  that  point  out  of  fear  he’ll  be  unable  to  live  life  of  his  own  volition  (  takes  a  flaky  philophobic  sagittarius  to  know  a  flaky  philophobic  sagittarius  🤡  )  .  has  probably  only  had  a  few  real  relationships  besides  flings  bc  he’s  afraid  .

𝐯  .

check  out  my  wanted  plots  tag  listed  here  ,  as  well  as  my  pinterest  wanted  plots  board  here  .  here   are  some  other  suggestions  hehe  :

best  friend  /  ride  or  die  :  someone  who  knows  about  his  past  ,  keeps  him  grounded  when  he’s  lk  spiraling  &  wants  to  drop  everything  &  flee  to  some  far  flung  corner  of  the  earth  .

actual  relationship  :  it  was  fast - burn  with  deep  feelings  (  not  them  thinking  they’re  soulmates  after  dating  for  a  month  . . .  pete  &  ariana  type  beat  )  but  completely  unrealistic  .  they  have  their  own  life  ,  he’s  pretty  much  tied  to  the  restaurant  ,  not  to  mention  his  lack  of  sharing  anything  about  his  childhood / life  back  home  .  they  loved  &  cared  for  each  other  ,  but  crashed  &  burned  fairly  quickly  because  of  how  idealistic  it  was  .  they  can  either  be  on  bad  or  good  terms  now  .

hateship  with  sexual  tension  😈

summer  flings  !!

fake  boyfriend  :  he  shows  up  on  her  arm  to  her  family’s  events  where  she’s  expected  to  have  a  partner  .  it’s  not  a  real  relationship  ,  but  her  parents  don’t  need  to  know  that  .  he  plays  the  part  &  satisfies  her  parents  beyond  the  bare  minimum  ,  &  in  return  she  invites  him  to  parties  ,  takes  him  out  on  her  family’s  yacht  ,  etc  etc  .  we  luv  some  symbiosis  

i  can  always  use  more  fwbs  hehehe

squad  :  a  group  of  people  who  do  everything  together  ,  have  a  chaotic  group  chat  ,  have  nicknames  for  one  another  ,  are  utd  on  each  other’s  sex  lives  ,  party  all  night  then  show  up  to  brunch  hungover  together  .  

cat  &  mouse  :  someone  he’s  pursuing  who  isn’t  quite  giving  in  ,  &  vice  versa  .  maybe  it’s  been  going  on  a  few  years  ,  everytime  they’re  in  st  tropez  they  have  this  weird  lil  flirtationship  thing  goin  on  until  she  leaves  ,  they  forget  about  one  another  ,  then  pick  it  right  back  up  when  she  returns  .

confidant  :  preferably  someone  from  a  working  class  background  who  understands  his  plight  of  being  a  worker  amongst  people  who  expect  to  be  waited  on  .

enemies  :  they  don’t  like  his  attitude  ,  &  he  doesn’t  like  them  in  return  .  lots  of  eye  rolls  ,  shit  talking  ,  &  tension  between  their  mutual  friends  .

we’re  sleeping  together  but  we  shouldn’t  be  but  that’s  half  the  fun :  for  whatever  reason  they  became  friends  ,  starting  hooking  up  despite  it  not  being  a  good  idea  (  read  :  he’s  exes  with  one  of  her  friends  ,  her  parents  want  her  focused  on  career  ,  they’re  part  of  the  same  friend  group  ,  etc )  . . . but  now  they  can’t  stop  .  lots  of  stolen  glances  across  rooms  ,  squeezing  past  one  another  in  a  crowded  club  just  close  enough  for  a  quick  touch  to  the  back  ,  quietly  leaving  one  another’s  places  the  morning  after  &  playing  dumb  to  anyone  who  asks  . 

[zero-obsessed]

Name : Caspineo Kreynt

Nicknames :

• Pine (by almost everyone, also what I'm calling him)

• Pineo (Nono)

• Pinepine (Renata) -> can't come up w anything else yet but I do have a nickname for Re

• Pinecone Head (Finger)

Age : 21 (15 during The Black Swan Bay Incident, that being under ice cold water for 20 years thing would make him too old so i'm fucking up the tl on purpose)

Pronouns : He/Him

Sexuality : Pansexual

Class : Fighter, used to be a Blade Master

Extra skill (hypothetically) : Blood of Storm ; not too sure how to explain it but basically he has lightning flowing in his blood. It's an offensive skill for certain, cast by channeling it through any outer part of his body, though he mostly focuses the current on his fists. The catch here, is that the output merely converts his charged blood into lightning form, meaning the higher the usage, the more blood he loses. Unlike regular lightning, it's colored crimson, since they're still technically his blood.

Relationships :

• Lover : Renata/Zero

• Former lover : Enxi

• BFF : Erii, Nono, Finger

• Good friends : Chime, Luminous, Johann, Anton (yeah he's dead but I think it's worth mentioning)

• Friends : Caesar, Anjou, Eva

• Neutral : Chisei, Mai

• Dislike : -

• Rivals : Z

• Hate : Herzog/Osho, Bondarev/Masamune

Other :

• Appears reasonable, yet in truth jumps head first into potentially life threatening situations

• Part time traceur. As early as his first few years in the orphanage, he's always loved jumping atop buildings. It never failed to drive Herzog mad, much to Pine's amusement.

• Has scars all over, both battle scars and the ones he got from parkour

• Reading and playing games in the dark past curfew took a toll on his eyes after a while, hence the glasses

• Socially awkward, thus tries his best to steer away from potentially awkward situations

• Ends up either getting adopted by extroverts, or magnets other introverts

• Impulsive as hell, one proof being him dying his hair every other month

• Johann trained Pine at one point, then they frequently have sparring sessions

• Him and Erii had been playing video games together since day one

• Doesn't care much, nor does he fusses over others

• ..unless his favorite people are in need

• Very rarely smiles, mostly just smirks

• As I mentioned prior, he's exceptionally sneaky and takes it to his advantage by messing with people

• Lumi is his go to target

• Dated Enxi casually in the past when there wasn't that much happening yet

• Eventually, shit started going down and they mutually decided on breaking things off permanently.

• Pine and Z never got along, mostly due to shared traits and their feelings for Renata

• 'ight I know Anton's an asshole but I'm hc-ing that he had respect for Pine and behaved nice enough around him. Pine wasn't all in for it at first, but it did get his best friends out of trouble

• His career is superstar, so naturally he had connections with Ruri and the two bonded over time

• Nono assisted a fair amount of his photoshoots and contributed in building his style (both outfit and performing)

If you read all that, I'm grateful but wtf you're too nice for your own good

[aitaikimochi]

The Boku No Hero Academia Season 3 Vol. 1 DVD comes with a hilarious drama CD track with Deku, Ochako, Tsuyu, Bakugou, and Tokoyami having conversations in the bus on the way to the forest camp! Here’s the translation of the CD! Enjoy~

Deku: It’s the summer of our first year at U.A. Academy, and the students of Class 1A are heading on a school field trip to a forest camp to further develop our quirks. We all gathered inside the bus but did not know of what trials await us at the camp.

Deku: A forest camp field trip, huh. I bet I can get a better grip on using One for All as much as I can. Wait a minute, there’s going to only be two pro heroes, Aizawa-sensei and Class B’s Vlad-sensei to supervise all 40 kids? Isn’t that going to be super hard on them? Do they even have a training menu for us at the camp? Aizawa-sensei would probably think of various things for us to…WAIT! What if they make us all think of our own training plans and then present them to the whole class? If that’s the case then I have to brush up on all that I’ve learned from the Stain incident up until now and *mumble mumble*

Ochako: Deku is mumbling again…I wonder if he’s thinking about the training we’ll undergo at the camp? Oh crap, what if he thought I was weird just now? I did a super weird dance without even thinking! Man, how embarrassing! Wait, nono. It’s not like that. It’s just that his face was a bit close to me, and that surprised me. That’s all. Right. There’s nothing between us.

Tsuyu: Ochako-chan?

Ochako: AHH it’s nothing, really it’s nothing, Tsuyu-chan!!!

Tsuyu: What?

Ochako: Oh? Uh, right. It’s nothing!

Tsuyu: I wonder what we’ll do at the forest camp?

Ochako: You’re right. Aizawa-sensei didn’t tell us anything either. Since we’ll be sharing the camp with Class B, I wonder if we’ll do joint training together?

Tsuyu: Yeah, that’s right. Although we know each other’s quirks among Class 1A, our knowledge of Class 1B’s quirks is only from the Sports Festival. If we can do a joint training with them, that’ll be super exciting! I wonder what kind of quirks they have, ribbit!

Ochako: Now that you mention it, I remember Monoma from the cavalry battle fighting against Bakugou. I’d like to see his quirk for sure. He apparently can copy any person’s quirk that he touches. I wonder what would happen if he uses my zero gravity? If Monoma touches you, Tsuyu, then he maybe can also do frog-like things!

Tsuyu: My siblings and parents all have the same quirk as me, so it wouldn’t exactly be that surprising I guess. My family doesn’t use their quirks to fight though, so it would be interesting to see how he would use it to fight.

Ochako: It’s convenient, isn’t it? If I had a copy quirk like Monoma, I would want to try to touch everyone I can! For example, if I can touch Deku, then I feel like I would be able to have insane power and speed!

Tsuyu: Speaking of Midoriya-chan, Ochako-chan, just now before we got on the bus, you did a weird dance after talking to Midoriya-chan. What was up with that? Did Midoriya say something to you?

Ochako: UHHH???? No, nono! It’s nothing, really! I just uh…I just felt like dancing, so I did! Yeah! I was uh, super excited about the forest camp so I was just in high spirits! That’s all, haha, yeah!!

Tsuyu: Ochako-chan, your face is really red.

Ochako: Wait what? No way, uh…what are you saying? Ha…ha……

Deku: Uraraka and Asui are talking heatedly! I wonder what they’re talking about? Getting on the same bus with everyone during summer break seems really fun! Wait a sec, how’s Kacchan doing then? Eh, Tokoyami is sitting next to him!

Bakugou: Ughhh.

Tokoyami: Bakugou.

Bakugou: What, bird shit?

Tokoyami: I want to ask you something.

Bakugou: Shut up, don’t talk to me.

Tokoyami: Don’t say that! It is just peachy, you are sitting next to me after all.

Bakugou: “Just peachy?” What the fuck are you saying? Ugh, if you wanna ask me something then do it!

Tokoyami: You interned at Best Jeanist’s agency, right? How was it?

Bakugou: WHAT???

Tokoyami: As he is the Number 4 hero, what is he like? It interests me greatly.

Bakugou: You’re so freaking annoying. Don’t ask me that shit! Don’t make me remember that. IMMA KILL YOU!

Tokoyami: “Don’t make me remember?” What, did it not suit you?

Bakugou: OF COURSE IT DIDN’T SUIT ME. That shitty guy made me wear uncomfortable pants, changed my hairstyle to a stupid uncomfortable one, everything was uncomfortable. That fucking denim freak!

Tokoyami: I’ve actually never met him before, but from gathering info about him on television and from newspapers, he tends to be the type to stick to a strict discipline. If that is the case, then indeed you and him are like water and oil- unable to blend.

Bakugou: SHUT THE HELL UP! If he was looking for someone who would “fit” under his watch, then he should have chosen the stupid ass proper Deku or the shitty glasses guy!

Tokoyami: Birds of a feather flock together, I suppose? Indeed, getting into a pro-hero’s agency, becoming their side kick, even if they are a high rank, that does not mean that they would work well with you. Even if you were with the Number 4 hero, perchance it was not the way you should have gone. Better be the tail of lions than the head of foxes.

Bakugou: Ughh…hey bastard. You’re talking quite a lot today.

Tokoyami: Hm? Is that so? It’s not like I am a reticent being, that is not to say I am garrulous either.

Bakugou: By the way, are you even a freshman?

Tokoyami: Excuse me?

Bakugou: Speaking with all these big words and idioms and shit that a freshman wouldn’t use. Maybe you’re actually a freakin’ old man who’s pretending to be young!

Tokoyami: An old man? Ha, what nonsense! I am a proper freshman at 15 years of age.

Bakugou: LOL “what nonsense” !?? Only an old man would say something like that!

Tokoyami: I JUST LIKE TO USE PROPER WORDS WHEN I SPEAK!!!

Bakugou: OH SO YOU DO ADMIT THAT YOU’RE AN OLD MAN THEN!?!?

Tokoyami: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU JUMPING TO THAT CONCLUSION?!?!? OKAY YOU THINK YOU CAN WIN AGAINST MY DARK SHADOW THEN!?

Bakugou: NOW YOU’RE TALKING! THERE WE GO! YOU THINK HE COULD EVEN DO ANYTHING? SO USELESS AT THE SPORTS FESTIVAL!

Tokoyami: WHAT UTTER INSOLENT NONSENSE!!!!!!

Bakugou: YOU WANNA GO OLD MAN?? *the two yell at each other*

Deku: Oh crap, they started arguing! Kacchan, Tokoyami, please stop!! STOP!!!!!

---

T/N: TOKOYAMI IS SO ADORABLE LOL

[hellbentrapture]

How Truly Unkind

CW/TW: depression, anxiety, mental illness, disability, cultural ableism, antagonism, hate, cruelty, hellworld, capitalist hellscape.

You know, I thought I wasn’t bothered by that one reblog on my “if my existence is an example of anything” post, but it turns out I was wrong. 

“Go fuck yourself. Stay miserable if you want, but don't drag others down with you, asshole.”

I wrote a post, begging and pleading to anyone who would listen to please, pleasepleaseplease, not sell yourself to and for capitalism. I wrote it because I am a disabled queer whose government is killing me and my friends, and I am watching other governments do it too. 

I am trying to access any and every resource I can, but because I am a student and have student loans (that do not pay my bills), I am almost wholly denied these resources. Because I received CRB/CERB until the beginning of 2021, I am almost wholly denied these resources. I am expected to be pretty much homeless or overtly dying before I am allowed to be helped.

My disabilities are partially caused by me selling myself to and for capitalism. My message was to tell anyone who would listen that it is not worth it.

And if you don’t believe for a single second that eugenics of disabled folks is still an active ongoing thing as a part of capitalism, then I prey for such ignorant bliss. To not know how ugly and cruel these systems and structures are. How you are useful until you are not. 

Of course I am fucking miserable. If you met me, however, you would not know. I laugh, I sing, I share things, and socialize with the small parts I can. But I am in agony. And I don’t show it to anyone. Because I can’t. One, my C-PTSD causes me some serious lack of affect. But two: because I am ashamed, embarrassed, and ultimately told to “go fuck myself” when I do share my agony.

How ugly of you, to tell someone who is vulnerable, and is finally being so openly, to go fuck themselves. How truly unkind.

And now, with each hit I take, I hear these words. I try to make a request for mutual aide on Facebook and instead get Facebook jail for a month. “Go fuck yourself.” I dropped down from full time classes to part time classes this term because of my health, and student loans transforms any and all grants to immediate debt. “Go fuck yourself.” I got student loans this term because it is the only way to pay my rent (which, as it turns out, does not actually), so now I don’t qualify for any other income supports. “Go fuck yourself.” My government has lifted all COVID precautions - people who test positive don’t need to isolate, and there are zero mask mandates. “Go fuck yourself.”

And that was the point of my message: that where I should receive care and compassion, instead I am told to go fuck myself. Whether this is my government, big corporations, academia, or support spaces on social media, the disabled are being told to go fuck ourselves.

But yes, sure, I am choosing to stay miserable. These kinds of things don’t happen anywhere except Alberta (you know, the leader in Canada for eugenics) - nevermind literally the whole of Canada, the US, or Europe. Oh no. Nono. Cultural, systemic, systematic, structural ableism is something that only happens sometimes AND I am choosing to be miserable about it.

Go fuck yourself.

-- Sincerely: a disabled trans masculine non-binary person who has and is honors roll and is a 3.5-4.0 gpa student; never got benefits in my life but worked full time hours; and whose body and mind is literally debilitated by the time I sold to capitalism (ie. “pulling myself up by my bootstraps”). All literally for nothing.

[moonraccoon-exe]

Ignis is seated at his desk when Gladio breezes in, planting his hand in the centre of it as he leans into Ignis’ space, all wolfish-grin and easy confidence. Eyes flicking from Gladio’s face down to the hand currently ruining the order of his reports, Ignis merely raises a brow before regarding Gladio coolly over the rim of his glasses in reprimand. Unfazed, Gladio grins wider. “Hey Iggy,” he says, leaning closer until they’re practically breathing the same air, “I got something for ‘ya.” [1/2]

Flour/Iridae!!!

First off, an apology. I said I’d answer yours when I’d wake up, but I wanted to reblog art first so your ask wouldn’t get thrown to the very bottom. But then I got very sick. And then I get into Halloween hype. 

I offer no excuses for the late reply, and I hope you understand and can forgive me.(o´▽`o)

Second, I WOKE UP TO A PART 3!!!  I was so hyped, Astrals above, I tried to give a quick check to my activity but found a part 3 and had to read it even when still all sleepy, and aaaaaaah!! It got so much better, and I liked it already!!!

Nono, Flour, Thank YOU, ohmygod astrals bless, thank YOU for sharing this little piece with me, hsjfngjfg

You, my friend, have this particular talent some of us don’t, myself probably number one of the list: to make a complete and very...complete* story in a few words. *By complete again I don’t mean as in “beginning middle end”, but rather, it’s round. It’s not just “John said bye then turned then left.” It’s “this happened like this, it felt like this, looked like this, then it turned into this other thing that felt this way and looks like this, and finished with this, which has this sensation and looks.”

It’s a fully complete (no redundance there) story, in such few words. And that, my friend, entirely points out to something very important; You’ve got skills. The tooth for this, if that’s a saying in english too.

You don’t need to make a “full” fanfic to make it work and have the same effect. What I write in 10k, others can in 500 words with the same impact on the readers. I think you’ve gotten that or something alike! This leaves me satisfied, feeling things, and with this sensation of completeess, and that points to a good writer!!

I want to applaud you so much, I feel so honored you submitted this in no other inbox than mine!! Such a ‘fully complete’ and warm and such an ADORABLE AND GOOD story, astrals in the realm, I feel so happy and honored!! Thank you so much!!

Hnfgnfgnmhg, where to begin, I LOVED IT ALL.

Gosh, I feel a bt shadowed now, ahahaha!! That’s super GOOD!

hNHNHHG, smug wolf-like grin Gladio. Y E S. Yesyesyes, ahaha, I love the mental image of Gladio just pacing around then like “Fuck it, I want to pamper my Iggy ヾ(`ヘ´)ﾉﾞ“ at a random moment, just going in all smug smiles not even caring where he puts the hand or anything. 

Gladio, Shield Charming, Amicitia. Gladio “I have a pretty darn good self-esteem” Amicitia doing it again, this flirty and romantic man. 

And then Ignis reacting all coldly to him at first? Ahahaha, this is so in character, I love it!! Ignis glancing from above his glasses and raising an eyebrow at him, unimpressed of Gladio’s attempts of romance, hmgfmfgmfgmf, that’s a weakness of mine HOW DID YOU KNOW

And then Gladio entirely ignoring him and just Got a gift for you ;)”, this is so canon, hngfgnfdgfmnhghfg, I’m LOVING THIS SO MUCH

I like the way Iggy joins into the little game his own way, all sass and class and staying in his role of unimpresed when really he wants this too and knows where this is going.  ♡

I really like the way you described/specified the softness and tenderness with which Gladio reaches for his face, and cups it. I really really really adore that “detail” because it’s not a detail, it’s an entire context in such few words; it talks on how despite the smug grin and the “Aha, I’m such a heartbreaker” attitude, Gladio’s really just this soft teddy bear that cares so much and loves Iggy so much, he subconsciously just treats him like that; all tender and soft

AND THEN YOU GAVE ME A PART 3 ♡♡♡♡♡♡

AND IT HAS SO MUCH CONTEXT TOO ♡♡♡♡

Gosh, this is such a jewel of a ficlet, ohmygod let me continue hhgfngnngnhfg

I adored, worshipped, LOVED the way Ignis ignored the faling papers. Because it’s an entire STACK OF THEM, not just a small post it paer or anything, an entire stack of papers falling, and not only does Ignis not care, he doesn’t even notice. That’s, agian, one of those “small” details that are not just small details; it just speaks so, so very dearly and much on how much Iggy loves Gladio back the same way, so much that one kiss shared between them has the entire absolute rest of the world disappear, and it’s only the two of them in their little bubble, their own world, just themlseves and their kisses.

Gladio showering all of Ignis’ face with kisses. Ohmygods I can’t- I need- *fans self* THIS IS SO ADORABLE, GLADIOLUS, THAT MAN IS A HOPELESS SOFT ROMANTIC AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND I LOVE HIM LOVING IGGY.

I adore the “detail” on Iggy holding him by the jacket “to keep him in place”. That caries so much context too, so much of it and I love it and it’s so good; it speaks a lot of how much Ignis loves him and loves that Gladio loves him, so much, he wants him to stay there. Gladio, the guy he was previously lecturing/nagging, and it’s so seet because then we understand Ignis really just pretends and even lies to himself on how much he tries to act like Gladio’s not his weakness-

-but he is

Because even though he wants to be angry for the hand on his papers and for his interruption, or etc., in the moment he’s just giving in and holding him in place.

“I don’t want you to leave”, says the pair of hands holding his jacket. “I love you. I love to be with you. I love it when we’re together. I love to kiss you, and that you kiss me. And I want to stay with you, and I want you to stay with me. Stay. Just stay”.

And Gladio just...stays :’3

When Gladio breaks apart and it’s specified it’s after a lingering kiss, such a very nice phrase, too! It makes me feel like Gladio didn’t want to pull apart, and forced himself to; that he wanted to stay there, because while it was his intention to “tease” Iggy, he really adores kissing him and now can’t get away. The devil traping himself in his own trap, hahaha. 

When Iggy tugs him back in. HHNNNNNGGGG *collapses* See, the entire “Stay” speech is there, in the little and not so little things. Now Ignis is literally keeping him there so he stays. 

“Allow me to return the favor”, ahHFNGFHFGN  y  e  s

agggggggh, iRIDAE, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO ADD HERE, IT’S ALREADY A JEWEL!

I don’t have the same skill, on making something so so so so darn pretty in such few words! Besides, you’ve got quite a vast vocabulary and a very pretty way with words, they’ve got a nice rhythm, I lack that, too. Geeze, this is so gorgeous and my “review” which is really just myself fangasming and word vomiting on you has gotten too long, but aaah, it’s just such a precious little story!! I like it so much I STILL FEEL SO HONORED!

My, you gave me a very precious look into your writing. I feel I’m staring at the very tip of the tip itself of the iceberg, and so much more hides underneath. I don’t have a very sharp eye, but it doesn’t take one to notice when somebody’s got skills, and you are one of those people.

Flour, I don’t know what else I can tell you. Thank you so much again for sharing this with me, it’s short and beautiful, and I’m loving the mental images I’m having thanks to this.

I’m loving this so much precisely because it’s “just a scene”, but it’s not “just” a scene. To capture a scene with all its essence and feelings, ohmygod, that’s such a beautiful and wonderful thing to do, and I feel so proud about that in some way, because yo did it so wonderfully and I get to read it! It’s a small scene, but it’s full and complete, and it makes you feel things, and the fact that it makes you feel things, that’s what art is supposed to do. And when it makes you feel things, that’s when the creator has done a good job.

IRIDAE

I AM MADLY CLAPPING AT YOU LIKE KERMIT THE FROG FLAILING AROUND

I don’t know if you’ve posted anything before, or if you want to do it. Just know that if you did, it’d be a very pretty gem for the treasure that forms this fandom’s pretty art. Mama says (not really, but it’s a good way to start a phrase, lmao) that when somebody does something amazing, it’s a bit sad they keep it in the dark. The world likes (and sometimes needs) pretty things, for smaller, tiny as they may be. Can’t have a shore without sand, and sand wouldn’t be the same without every single of its grains, small or big, doesn’t matter.

*dreamy sigh*

I’m still not over your way of writing along the scene itself. Both are so pretty. 

You’ve got a very pretty way with words, and I feel both a little bad and super good this is currently in my inbox, only for me to see. But, I guess I kept it long enough, now it’s time to share with the world so they can see it too because it’d be a shame not to put this out in the light!! It’s SO worth it and more than that, so PRETTY!!

I don’t know if I’ve got anything to add to this, I don’t have the same pretty rhythm and way with words as you do. I use basic vocabulary, but this goes a knot up into it. I don’t think I’ve got anything to add, unless you want me to. The honor would be mine, tho it does scare me a bit; this feels so pretty, I fear I’d mess it!

I hope you enjoyed writing it as much, or at least half as much, as I did reading it. But I feel you did; one can feel the writer’s passion in their words, and when it’s not there, you notice and the words are just Eh. But this feels thought through and hugged before being delivered. Right? You liked it. I loved it.

If you ever wish to share more, my inbox is never closed, alright?

Iridae, thank you so much. Thank you, over and over.  ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

Have a great day, and a happy  halloween!!

[mthevlamister]

Prom!

Hey again for @stonermurphy and @le-gay-le

I managed to change someone from boyf riends to this and I’m happy.

Next up I change my girlfriend’s ship.

I do take requests for RichxMichael, ChristinexJeremy, EvanxConnor (ohhh DEH is here), JaredxEvan, JDxMichael (the slushie ship), and more. Just send me a message with a prompt!

TW: suicidal thoughts, panic attacks.

Prom started out great.

Rich and Michael were in the back of the PT Cruiser; Bob Marley was playing in the background. Michael was making marks all over his boyfriend, and Rich? Well Rich would forever deny how loud he was.

It was wonderful, until Jake and Jeremy opened the door to the car. Rich pushed Michael away, his face flushed red. “Mi-Michael, come on.”

“Really Jeremy? Come on.” Michael whined, getting out of the car. He took Rich’s hand, leading him out to the car. “I could’ve gotten further.”

“Oh please, you’d say ‘Michael is making an entrance’ if you got that far.” Jeremy said. “Christine is waiting for me and Chloe is waiting for Jake. I can’t believe the minute Jake and I left the car you pushed Rich to the back and jumped him.”

“Okay I would totally say that, it would be worth it. Also, he looks good in a tux, right princess?” Michael turned to Rich, smirking.

“Don’t call me printheth.” Rich mumbled. “You look better in a thuit.”

“Please change his username to princess.” Jake said, wheezing at this point. 

“Change your own utherame to printheth if you want that name tho bad!” Rich hit Michael’s arm lightly. “Don’t change it.”

“I wouldn’t change it babydoll.” Michael whispered in Rich’s ear, wrapping his arm around him.

That damn name made Rich turn red. He hated that Michael had this power.

“Rich? What’d he say? Why are you red?” Brooke walked over, she was followed by Chloe, Jenna, and Christine. They must’ve been either bored or worried. “Are you okay?”

“I have my secrets to get my boyfriend to be quiet. I will never share them, they are mine.” Michael said. “I also know how to sneak pot into prom.”

“My name’s Michael, let’s get stoned in my basement and prom!” Jeremy mocked. “Ten bucks you brought some weird drink.”

“I tried. Richard wouldn’t let me.”

“You bet your athth I wouldn’t!” Rich said, grabbing his boyfriend’s arm. “He needth to try other drinkth.”

“. . . Richard almost finished all my Mountain Dew Red.” 

“THUT UP!”

“Hey! Hey, c’mon. Let’s go inside okay? I want to dance.” Christine smiled, taking Jeremy’s hand. “Of course, with the guy I am totally into.”

Everyone groaned.

~ ~ ~

Rich forgot why he tried to be cool for Michael.

The nerd was doing the robot.

THE ROBOT!

“Michael I thwear to everything I know you’re the biggetht geek I know.” Rich said, laughing his ass off. “You’re tho cute.”

“Try it Richard, I want to see a cool guy do a geeky dance.” Michael took Rich’s hands, grinning like a madman.

“You think I’m cool?” Rich flushed again. 

“Yes? Why wouldn’t I?” Michael frowned. “Richard.”

“Yeth?”

“You’re the coolest guy in the world.”

“Am I cooler than a vintage cathette?” Rich teased, remembering what Jeremy told him about Michael during the SQUIP. He thought it was hot.

He got shocked for that.

“You’re cooler than Red Mountain Dew and Crystal Pepsi on a hot day. Dare I say you are cooler than Apocalypse of the Damned!” Michael said, grabbing Rich’s shoulders.

“No way, you’re thitting me!” Rich got to play the game with Michael a few times before prom, he was actually amazing. He didn’t have the heart to tell Michael he played it and beat it awhile ago.

“I’m not thitting you.” Michael teased him, kissing his cheek.

Rich was about to come up with a response until he heard the song change and Michael pulled him to the dance floor.

It was Whitney. God why was Michael so excited?

“Michael, thith thong thucks--I uthed too many wordth with an eth, haven’t I?” Rich covered his mouth.

“Nah babe you’re good, and this song totally sucks. I want to dance with you though. This is the only music worth dancing to!”

“I beg to differ.” Rich said, twirling his boyfriend.

“Hey Rich, can I talk you to you?” Jake placed a hand of Rich’s shoulder, smiling. “Sorry Michael, can I steal him?”

“Go for it.” Michael replied as cool as he could. He waited until Jake took Rich to the punch table to begin to freak out.

He hated parties. 

He didn’t know he hated them until Jake’s Halloween party. That was his undoing. 

And here he was.

Alone.

Again.

He stopped looking up, the faces passing him were making him dizzy. He couldn’t breath. The dread was settling in his stomach. He felt his eyes burn, his legs were numb and he ran. He ran to the bathroom, at least that would give him comfort. He needed to be there.

He should have told Rich, but he didn’t. 

He was scared Rich wouldn’t care.

~ ~ ~ 

Rich became nervous.

It had been ten minutes since Jake finished telling him about how Chloe was telling Brooke how she was going home with him. Rich of course was glad his friend got this chance but he noticed Michael was missing.

He waited, maybe he just went to get food.

Now he was scared.

He ran outside, praying to everything he knew and loved Michael was getting high out back.

He wasn’t.

He didn’t know what made Michael leave, he didn’t care. Somehow it was anyone but Michael’s fault and he’d fight anyone who hurt his boyfriend. 

“Jeremy! Michael ith mithing and I’m worried!” Rich grabbed the tall boy’s arm, not caring Christine was holding that very arm. “He’th been gone for fifteen minuteth now!”

“Let me think, oh god prom was a bad idea why did I--bathroom! Shit! Grab Jake and follow me. Christine I’ll be back okay?” Jeremy turned to his girlfriend.

“Okay, that’s fine! Make sure he’s okay for me, alright? I’d go in with you but--”

“No, you have to come Chrithtine! Get Jenna, Brooke, and Chloe!” Rich cried, looking desperate, “He may need all of uth!”

“I’m on it, okay?” Christine smiled. “I’ll bring the bathroom keys, in case he locked himself in there. I’ll get the gang!”

“Me too.” Jeremy ran off with Christine, getting the rest of SQUIP squad.

~ ~ ~

“I can’t do this, I can’t do this, I can’t--” Michael repeated over and over again in the bathroom. He did, in fact, lock the door. He wanted to disappear all over again. He felt alone.

He didn’t notice the door open with seven other teens searching for him.

“--SUCH A GODDAMN LOSER! I CAN’T DO THIS!” Michael was punching the wall, hoping he could break the world.

He was almost breaking his hand.

He broke down in sobs, collapsing to the floor. “Can’t do it. I can’t do it again, don’t want to be alone again. I hate being alone! I’m always fucking alone!”

“M-Michael? Hey, what’th wrong?” Rich moved closer, slowly easing to a crouch next to the crying boy. “Babe look at me.”

“R-Richard? Oh god, y-you weren’t supposed to see me like this. Why are you here? Aren’t you talking to. . . I. . .” Michael turned, stopping when he saw the rest of the group there.

It wasn’t the best idea to bring them all there.

“Hey, player one. Calm down, okay? We’re all here. We’re still your friends!” Jeremy sat down with Rich, smiling at Michael.

“Michael why would we leave you alone? We love you!” Christine sat down with them.

“Can I rub your back? If you need space it’s okay.” Jenna said; seeing Michael nod she sat down and ran her hand up and down his back. “What? Personal space is important!” she said to the group.

“Want to ditch and get Pinkberry?” Brooke asked, hearing Michael snort she sat down with them. 

“We’ll go after if you want, okay?” Chloe sat down, leaving Jake the last one standing.

Jake stepped closer. “Shit Michael you’re going to make me cry, come on man. Take deep breathes. Look me in the eyes, okay?” Michael complied. “Alright, deep breathe in,” Michael did so. “I want you to hold it, good! Now let it out.” Jake patted Michael’s head as he did so.

“. . . I wanted to die.” Michael whispered. “That night, during Jake’s party. I wished I stayed at home, offing myself or-or that I was never born. I tried that night when I got home. I-I should’ve stayed in the damn house, I should’ve stayed in the fire! I think about that every night! I-I don’t know why I’m saying all this shit, god I shouldn’t be saying this.” 

Rich stared in horror, this wasn’t the happy-go-lucky Michael he knew. This was a tired, sad, depressed Michael. A real Michael.

“Would it have been better if I stayed in the bathroom?” Michael looked up at the group, smiling.

“NO!” Rich screeched. He grabbed Michael’s hands. “NO NONO!”

“Rich don’t shout.” Jeremy said, his eyes were wide and he looked like he was going to cry. He wanted to shout too, scream how wonderful Michael was.

“Michael you’re totally important, you saved the whole school--no! You saved the world from the stupid supercomputer! We’d be mindless robots without you!” Chloe said, crawling closer. “That would suck!”

“I-I bet someone would figure it out. Richard was screaming for the stupid drink, Jeremy you figured it out during the play right? You would’ve been able to get it and save yourself.” Michael looked even more tired at that point, letting his head fall.

“Let’th go home, okay? Let’th go to your houthe. I got him guyth, I’ll drive uth to hith houthe.” Rich helped Michael up, sending the group a sad smile. He walked to the PT Cruiser. He got in the drivers seat and helped Michael buckle in. “Michael? Are you going to therapy?”

“My parents don’t believe in therapy, I usually get high when I feel like this. It helps me suppress my emotions.” Michael said, leaning on Rich’s shoulder.

“Not healthy, let’s get you home. I’m gonna thtart you with my therapitht, okay? Good, I’m glad you agree.” Rich said, rubbing his boyfriend’s arm.

They both jumped when Rich’s phone made a noise.

Brooking it to class: We’ll meet you two at pinkberry, everyone loves frozen yogurt when they’re upset.

Richard: Got it, bringing the rest?

Brooking it to class: Yup!

Rich smiled, turning the car on. “We’re making a thtop babe.”

~ ~ ~

“Strawberry frozen yogurt? You’ve got good taste Michael!” Chloe complimented the boy, she was getting her own. “Now for toppings what do you want?”

“I have no idea, I’ve never had this stuff before. What’s good?” Michael stared at the toppings area. “. . . I want actual strawberries on it! Is that cookie dough?! Why did nobody take me here before?!”

Rich watched his boyfriend place toppings on his yogurt, he felt himself relax. Michael wasn’t going to hurt himself. Rich was going to stay over at Michael’s house that night. Michael was going to start therapy the next day.

“He never told me about this, I swear.” Jeremy was still in a state of shock, unforgiving to himself. “I can’t believe I never notice, he always acted so. . . perfect!”

“Hey, it’s okay we’re getting him help.” Jenna said, smiling. “I want chocolate froyo, be back.”

“I’m getting some too, Rich you want something?” Brooke stood up, smiling. 

“Nah, I’ll eat thome of Michael’th.” Rich said, keeping his eyes on his boyfriend.

“I want some!” Jake stood up and went to the machines, just in time for Michael to sit down.

“Hey babydoll, want some?” Michael held out a spoon. Rich nodded, scooting closer. “I’m sorry for dumping all that crap on you earlier, I really wish I was normal--”

“Don’t. I’m glad you told me, thith way we can help you. I’m glad I’m here for you, now give me a kith!” Rich put his hand on Michael’s shoulder. Michael grinned and kissed Rich.

It would get better.

Thanks for reading, be sure to send your own ships and prompts!

[wikihownot-blog]

How to befriend the child you plan on abducting.

Now, abducting a child can seem like a difficult action to complete. But, don’t worry these steps will make it easier than ever for your to follow your dreams. Chances are you’ll get caught and thrown in jail, but no one likes a quitter. Am I right?

1      Enroll in Community College

So, you’re thinking about abducting a kid. Great! The first step is to enroll in community college. It’s just like your abusive father used to tell you, “Son, you’ll never be anything in your life, you’ll never be successful, you’ll never accomplish your dreams unless you have a college degree. No one in our family went to college and look at us.... LOOK AT US!” He wasn’t the best of men; but, boy was he smart. Finding a community college is easier than ever. Just go to Google and type in Community College. You’ll be astonished at the quick results that pop up on your screen. Choose one of these prestigious institutions and hit the enroll button. Congratulations, Mr. College Graduate! You’ve just completed community college and are ready to progress to step number two!

2      Forget Everything, You Idiot!

College isn’t important at all! Print out 5 copies of your new awesome degree and forget everything. Throw four of them all over the fucking place, you animal. When you realize that you’re trying to abduct a child, a college education doesn’t seem that important. So forget your finance, economics, marketing and history classes. Just brain dump them. But hold on to your psychology and sociology classes. Those may be important.

3      Choose Your Vehicle

Now the traditional means of transportation for abducting children seem to be windowless vans. But you’ve just graduated community college. If there’s anything you’ve learned, it’s that you’re broke and can’t afford a van and are highly considering other cheaper options. How about a brown car? A yellow car or a blue car? Either one of these options will work. Just make sure the car has an engine and tires and some seat belts and you’re good to go.

However, you should consider gas mileage for your car as you’re ultimately going to be running from the police. If you want the best gas mileage possible, be a stupid loser and buy a hybrid. If you want to look cool and pick up all the babes at the playground, buy an SUV. Whichever your choice, as long as there is a trunk or a back seat, you’re good to go for abducting. 

4      Put On a Suit and Keep It Cool. Don’t Blow This, Gary.

Alright, you’ve made your choice. Now it’s time to buy the car. Dress up in your most ill-fitting suit and keep your fucking cool, Gary. Listen to me, you stupid fuck, if you blow this shit everything you’ve ever done to this point will be for nothing.

Alright, don’t smile, just kinda have a look on your face like I shouldn’t be fucking doing this but I’m doing it anyway because I’m not a quitter. Hand the sales person a piece of paper that reads, “ I would like car, please,” and then smile with your lips. Congratulations, you’ve just purchased the car of your dreams!

5      Choose your Location

Now that you have a car, you have to do your research on where kids hang out and have the most fun. I don’t know if I would Google this; but to each their own. Stop at your local welcome center for whatever state you live in on the highway and grab every single brochure you possibly can fit into your cargo pants. Possible brochures can be about parks, nature resurves, theme parks or water parks. 

The location you choose can drastically alter the outcome of the situation; so, be smart about where you choose. 

6      Drive to Your Location in Your Stupid Hybrid, Gary. God, You’re Lame.

Get into those swee- what the hell, Gary? What did I tell you? You bought a hybrid? Fuck, alright. You can make this work. Hit the pedal to the metal and launch your dreams into drive. Go to the location you choose and start looking at kids!

7      Make Them Think You’re Cool By Talking About Drugs

You’ve located a pack of kids. Start this off on the right foot and tell them how cool you are. Honestly, the coolest parts of your life were probably everything revolving around heroin. Perfect! Tell the kids how cool drugs and heroin are and remember, don’t come off as too needy.

If these kids detect a hint of neediness they’ll be sure to run and tell their parents. If you’ve never done heroin, or can’t remember any cool stories because you blacked out cause you can’t take it since you’re a pussy, here are some sweet openers to use.

“Howdy Ho, Boy-O’s. Wanna listen to my “H” story?” “What’s sharp and pointy and wants to be inside of you? This needle!” “Heroin isn’t just the name of a female superhero.” “Wanna come back to my place and play some Minecraft?” Use of any of these statements doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be accepted by the children, but they should help you on your way to acceptance.

8      Buckle Up Tight!

Strap them into the car seat for safety! You don’t want anyone to fly through the windshield when you’re avoiding the spike strips on the highway. That would be Vehicular Manslaughter and no one signed up for that, Gary.

9     Fuck, Oh Fuck. No, No No Nono. Fuck Me.

Oh fuck. Oh, man. Oh, God. No, no nono. How the, Fuck. FUCK. It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. Why, God? I didn’t even want to do this. WHY. SHUT THE FUCK UP, STOP SCREAMING. Oh god, no. Why. Ok, keep your cool. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Alright, well. This is totally your kid. They can’t prove they aren’t. Just pull over and talk to the cop.

This part is easy. Keep your cool, wipe the tears from your eyes and illuminate your turn signal. Gently merge onto the side of the road, keep your hands on the steering wheel, and illuminate the light inside of your vehicle. Await the police officer to arrive at your driver side window.

10      Lie To The Cop and Say You’re a Police Officer

Police Officers are incapable of detecting the difference between a lie and a truth. If you decide to be a bitch and tell the truth, you’re going to jail. Instead of telling the truth, just lie to them. Lying is easier than ever. All you have to do is make something up on the fly and spew whatever garbage you come up with out of your mouth hole in the direction of the officer.

“Come onnnnnn, us Police Cops have to stick together? Right?” 

Nailed it. That’s a great phrase to use. After saying that to the cop, await his response.

11     Think About The Good Times...I’ll Miss You Randy

Well, maybe lying to the Police wasn’t the best idea. Well, you tried and you weren’t a quitter. Frankly, I didn’t even think you’d get this far. Now, you’re sitting in jail awaiting your trial. The only thing you can think of is the past memories you shared with whatever child you took. Think of all the laughter, the great moments like going to Dairy Queen and bopping their nose with vanilla ice cream. *sigh*. Well, the only thing you can do now is to not tell people what your crime was. For the love of God, do not tell them what you did to get in here. Think of something cool to tell them like you’re a murderer, or you stole a bunch of stuff. Just don’t tell them you stole the heart of a beautiful boy who was, in turn, your soul mate. Don’t tell them that. They’ll stab you.